cheer up. you’re a lifeguard.
last week, ashley, the kids, and i went to el dorado to hang out with her parents. what to do? well, her mom got us into the pool at the local fitness center. anytime we mention swimming the kids go nuts, so we headed out for a fun day at the pool. well, sort of. the onslaught of unhappiness began almost immediately. i began to blow up everyone’s floaties when the main lifeguard girl blew her whistle at me. ”No floaties in the pool. You need to use our life jackets.” i’m okay with following rules and policies, but why did i suddenly feel like a second-grader being caught running down the hall. to say she barked at me is no where close to accurate. i wondered if i’d ever be able to blow up a floatie again without hearing a whistle. well, the kids aren’t accustomed to wearing a life jacket, so max and reese blew a gasket. nothing like a fun-filled swim with two screaming, panic-stricken kids.
after calming the kids down a little, we began to wait for the slides to open. natzi lifeguard turned the water on for the slides, slid down them a few times herself, all the while looking quite militant, then to the horror of hudson, proceeded to turn the water off and barricade the slides. no explanation. she perched herself back up on the lifeguard stand and continued to spread her cold war russian-like cheer. as i looked around, i noticed all the other lifeguards exuding the same stoic enthusiasm. i was perplexed. these are teenagers that get to spend their summer at the pool, while getting paid. cheer up. your friends are watching the clock tick by while cleaning out the bathroom drain at the Dairy Queen. you’re getting paid to set by the pool and occasionally save a life. smile.
come to find out, i’m guilty of the same thing. a couple of weeks ago, we loaded up the van and took the family to dallas. i was speaking at a conference, so we took the opportunity to have a quick little vacation. six flags, hurricane harbor, etc. we had a great time. or did i? on two separate occasions, i was asked to smile by a food service employee. one at a whataburger drive through, and one at the ice cream kiosk in the mall. honestly, if the kids weren’t in the car, i may have picked a fight with the lady at whataburger. so here i am at a conference, free hotel, free six flags, everyone having a great time, and i can’t muster up a smile for the ice cream lady. i am pastor of an awesome church. i have a amazing wife. my kids are way cooler than yours. i drive a dodge stratus (sorry, will farrell reference). all of that, and the whataburger lady has to tell me to smile. cheer up daren. you’re a lifeguard.
special thanks to the miserable crew of lifeguards in el dorado. as for the whataburger lady, i’ve got my eye on you.
